Contentment

Contentment Is the Secret to an 80+-year Marriage

My wife and I celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary this week. But we’ve got nothing on what John and Ann Betar did. I first came across the story of this old married couple in 2016 (since they were both already over 95 at the time, I think it’s safe to have called them “old”). It’s a great reminder of the importance of contentment, a key ingredient to a successful marriage and a great life.

John and Ann have since passed away, but not before they were married almost 86 years in 2018. John Betar and Ann Shawah Betar said “I do” back on November 25, 1932. During their marriage, they weathered many storms together, but they still greeted each morning with eagerness and gratitude. They lived through the Great Depression, World War II, the terrorist attacks of 9/11, and two powerful hurricanes. John finally passed away at 107, and Ann shortly thereafter at 103.  As late as 2012 they were still living in their home. They had five children, 14 grandchildren and 16 great grandchildren.

When she was still a teenager, Ann’s father had arranged for her to wed a local man in Bridgeport, Connecticut. But her heart already belonged to another—John Betar. She and John eloped in Harrelson, New York because, as Ann said, “We didn’t have any money to go any farther.” People told them it would never last, but after 85 years, the couple was still happily married.

They each offered some simple guidelines for building a lasting marriage. John said, “Get along. Compromise. Live within your means and be content. And let your wife be the boss.” But Ann countered, “We don’t have bosses.”

Both John and Ann, who were members of St. Nicholas Antiochian Orthodox Church in Bridgeport, Connecticut, acknowledged God as the source of their blessings. Ann said, “How can you not feel God’s right with you and blessing you?” John reemphasized the importance of living with contentment. He said, “We just live with contentment, and we don’t live beyond our means.”

What great reflections from an old married couple! Since so many couples refer to financial stress as one of the major sources of trouble in their relationships, we have much to learn from this remarkable couple, who lived with contentment. By cultivating contentment, I think our marriages will improve. Our families will improve. Even our own anniversary celebrations might improve. The Apostle Paul wrote to his protégé, Timothy, “Godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6).” As we learn to appreciate what we have, rather than focusing on what we don’t have, we can truly be more thankful people. We can be more generous people. We can be more contented people.

sources: Lauren Sher, “Couple celebrates 80th wedding anniversary, shares secrets to lasting marriage,” abcnews (11-20-12); Meg Barone, “Fairfield couple gives thanks for 80 years of life together,” Fairfield Citizen (11-21-12); preachingtoday.com